Taking that step, that first step, in any new direction can scare the skirt off any woman. Whether it’s a family move to a new city, your first speech in front of colleagues, or buying an outfit that you love- but you think others may question, “Have you lost your mind?”, moving into uncharted territories sometimes can have us paralyzed. You even ask yourself questions that murky the decision-making waters even further and increase your self-doubt.
In these cases, we have to dig up the root of our fear before we can move forward. In each instance that you’re facing apprehension, you have to question, what is the anxiety? Do you worry about change? Is it a fear of being overwhelmed, or is it a fear of failure or success? Usually, the concern about change ties in with being afraid of failure or success.
Fear of failure is closely related to concern about criticism and rejection. Ask yourself, does your fear stem from an unsubstantiated issue in your childhood? Did someone instill a belief in you based on their own beliefs or assumptions. Unfortunately, so many of the things we carry through life and have determined as truths are nothing more than our (sometimes incorrect) perceptions.
If you do have scars on your psyche that were created in your childhood, try to recall the memory that created that imprint and feel the pain associated with it…for 1 minute. Then, move on. Often, we may not have any recollections tied to the anxiety that’s facing us. It’s completely fabricated. Our mind is an incredible tool. It can liberate us -- or debilitate us.
The classic symptom of fear of failure is being afraid to try something because it may end up being a big-fat zero, goose egg, or disappointment. We subconsciously press play on those thoughts over and over in our minds. Failure is the worst case scenario... and it may or may not happen. But what if it does? What does that say about you? What it says is you tried! And it should give you a little more moxie to make another attempt at your goals.
What is surprising is that often, we are equally fearful of success as we are of failure. In many women’s minds, success leads to having more on our plate or being in demand even more (say what?). We assume that success means that our lives get more hectic, and who wants that?
Success requires change, and change has both positive and negative consequences. Our schedules may change, we may have more issues to deal with, or more (little) people and things to juggle. But, at the same time, other things that were just taking up space in our lives may fall away. And, in the end, you’ll feel more fulfilled.
Facing your fears is an incredible way to free your mind of the limitations YOU put there. As you know, we are often our own worst enemy. So nothing’s wrong with feeling the fear…but do the thing you’re afraid of anyway!
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