It's hard to imagine. You have just broken up with someone special and the best thing you can do is remain calm and agree with the break up. What kind of advice is this?
Yes, you are enraged. You feel sick to your stomach. You can't sleep at night. Your job is being affected. Your old friends hardly recognize you and you can't think straight. All this and the advice suggest taking completely counter intuitive steps. Steps that are opposite to the feelings you have.
So rather than act like a crazy women or a psycho guy, you're going to remain completely calm and act very cool. And by cool, we mean agreeable rather than distant. Calm so that no matter how agitated you may feel on the inside, your exterior persona is one of confidence, understanding, and acceptance. Right, much easier said than done.
First and foremost, after a break up, you should attempt to take control but writing a note. And writing is much easier and longer-lasting than most words you could try to utter. Sometimes called the 'second chance' letter, this is an excellent opportunity to hand write a few words to your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend. The letter should be composed of a) acceptance and agreement, b) apology, c) distance and time, d) something exciting…a teaser, and e) a close to remain friends.
Here's a stab at a letter I wrote a few years ago.
'I just wanted to write a short note to let you know that I am okay with your decision to end our relationship. Honestly, I actually saw this coming for some time now. Please accept my apology for not spending more time to understand your concerns and to take better care of you over the past eighteen months. I am sorry to have disappointed you. As they say, one door closes and a window opens, I hope I can share some exciting news with you in the future. Our space is important right now and I hope we can remain friends through this time of change. – Most Sincerely, Alice
In most cases, after receiving a letter such as this, your ex will respond in some fashion rather a return letter or a phone call. In my case, after a couple of phone calls between us, I decided to take my ex on three outings as described in 'The Magic of Making Up Review.' It's important to know that the outings are not dates and each need to be short in length, non-threatening, and easy to arrange. Maybe the outing is to purchase a gift for a mutual friend's birthday, or catching up for coffee, or getting together to exchange a much desired book. Give it some thought, there are hundreds of ideas.
After making my ex comfortable with the short outings, we were able to move on to three emotionally charged dates with shared experiences for building a new bond together. Following the advice and putting care into my plans, we found that we were back together again.
If knowing how to get your ex girlfriend back is basically this easy, why is it that we break up in the first place? For men, the main reason is not getting their ego fed. It means that they need more admiration as they crave attention. If the woman fails to demonstrate admiration, the male's interest is gone and so is the relationship.
Women on the other hand crave attention and appreciation. It's the little things that women do that need to be appreciated. Men need to show appreciation and give praise or the women will leave to find someone else who will appreciate them and give them attention.
The two most common reasons why relationships do not work is someone cheated or there is a lot of fighting going on. The real reason why a women or a man will leave a cheater is not because they can't trust their partner it is because they feel there partner does not appreciate them and they feel their partner does not admire them anymore.
No matter what the reason for your break up, it's important to understand what's happening and what's wrong from both sides. You can't solve a problem with only half of the puzzle. It is very easy to say 'it's just not working out.' Your challenge is to find the real reason, no matter how deeply buried it might be. More importantly, you need to understand how the issue is related to either being appreciated or attention for a woman. If a man, how does that issue or problem feed his ego?
Author Resource:-
Michiel Van Kets writes articles for a leading breakup expert who gives advice on how to get your ex girlfriend back and how to get your ex boyfriend back. View the Magic of Making Up review and find out how this book has created a big impact and helped people from around the world.
![[Valid RSS feed]](http://www.talkinmince.com/images/icon_Rss.png "XML Feed For RSS"){kind=icon}
Category Rss Feed
Print This Article
Add To Favorites
