Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend can be an extremely emotional roller coaster ride. Especially if you realize that the break up with really not what you intended and certainly not what you had imagined for the two of you. Let's explore some ways you might better deal with this situation and perhaps turn the relationship around.
One of the most important things you must remember during this break up period is not to panic. Panic reactions can be very damaging and only help to reconfirm the original decision for breaking up with you. Your panic actions may actually cause more damage than good and may act to push your girlfriend or boyfriend even further away. I suspect that's not what you want to achieve.
Although there are many ways to sabotage your chances of making up, panic is a sure way to increase the distance between you and your ex. I suspect at some point, you have either already done this or encountered someone attempting these panic actions. It may be hard but please resist
1) Sending countless text messages
2) Non-stop dialing with either a hang-up or rambling messages
3) Arguing about the break up.
No matter what the reason may have been, we all agree that it can be a very emotionally draining experience and sometimes one that is extremely difficult to get over. So what should you do to attempt reversing this break up?
Although completely counter intuitive and opposite to the feelings you are enraged with, you must agree with the break up…at least for now. That means stay cool and calm. It may not be okay with you inside but externally you need to display that it is okay. Don't go crazy and leave non-stop phone messages. Don't wear yourself with text messaging. And don't go seeking family and friends of your ex to explain your version of the break up. Keep focused and act like you are 100% okay.
First and foremost, you should attempt to take control and stop the break up by writing a short note. Trust me, there's nothing more endearing that putting it in writing. You can select the medium; email is the fastest and easier method of communication but not recommended. Perhaps try something more appealing and thought provoking. A handwritten note on a beautiful or funny card should earn you more points. I would suggest that sky writing be avoided at this point.
It's not so much how the message is presented as what the message says. Here's the recommended formula for you to follow:
• Let them know you are okay with the break up
• Tell him or her that you agree with the decision
• Apologize briefly if you did something bad which caused the break up
• Let them know that something really exciting happened in your life and need to tell them about it sometime
• Let them know that you want to give them time to themselves for now
• Finally close by saying, 'maybe at some point, we can be friends.'
See that's not so hard. Most importantly remember to keep a calm and cool tone throughout your note. With this completed, you have the stage set for your next move.
Let's say that things have progressed with your ex girlfriend, in the opposite direction, and you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back if they are dating someone else. First important rule, don't freak out, remember to remain positive. You really should consider it a good sign that your ex is dating someone else. It could mean that they have moved on and are past your former relationship. If so, your ex should be willing to talk and see you again, even as a friend.
If dating someone else, especially if its someone you dislike, your ex girlfriend may be testing to understand if they still have feelings for you or if they are looking for something different in a relationship. Just remember that you have the upper hand and you now your ex better than the new person she is dating. She will also more than likely be comparing you with her new partner and probably still has feelings for you. It's all about the history you and she have, unlike the new relationship with no or limited history.
A relationship right after a break up is referred to as a 'rebound' relationship. 90% of rebound relationships fail, more good news in your favor for the potential of getting back together again. Just beware in case you are the 'rebound' partner.
If you are serious about getting her back, remain friends and be supportive through her new relationship. Show that you care about her; she'll more than likely open up and tell you about the person she is dating. Remain positive and be there when the relationship fails and she comes back to you.
Guess what, the reverse also works. If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, try the same approach. Keep the claws in, remain calm, and be supportive.
Author Resource:-
Michiel Van Kets writes articles for a leading relationship expert who gives advice and tips on how to get your ex girlfriend back and how to get your ex boyfriend back. View the Magic of Making Up review and find out how this book helps thousands of people around the world.
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